Is prejudice ingrained within all of us?

I watched Philadelphia recently, yes, it was my first time though it released as far back as 1993.

For those who haven't watched it, Tom Hanks plays a topnotch lawyer who is the blue-eyed boy of his (conservative) law firm executives until they find out he has AIDS and is gay. Both these reasons play a major part in the decision to fire him though the argument states that "he was fired for incompetency". What made the case even more compelling is that he acquires the illness through a random sexual encounter rather than a tame blood transfusion. Tom hires Denzel Washington, a homophobic, small-time lawyer to fight his case. Denzel is cured of his homophobia and wins the lawsuit even as AIDS overcomes Tom. Washington argues that fear is an important ingredient in the recipe that forms prejudice, a simple fear of contracting the disease.

Fear, disgrace, humiliation, society, family, ostracism, change, values, beliefs, emotions... so many reasons drive people towards an act of prejudice.

In an ideal world, I would have loved to say life is too short to be prejudiced about religion, race, colour, size, looks, education, language, accent, profession, speech, gender, age, sexual orientation & choices, status, success, power... Isn't any act, big or small, that makes one human being commit injustice or even judge another due to an ingrained prejudice questionable?

Wikipedia explains: "The word prejudice refers to prejudgment: making a decision about, before becoming aware of the relevant facts of, a case or event."

Prejudice or prejudgement that creeps into practical, everyday parts of life intrigues me.

I will speak for myself first. Have I ever commited an act of injustice against a person or judged someone based on any of the above, consciously or unconsciously, knowingly or unknowingly?

Yes, I have. Guilty as charged. While I sincerely do my best to be non-judgemental, successfully most times, despite my best intentions prejudgement does sweep in... I might not be vocal or act upon it but prejudged I have.

Have I ever faced prejudice of any sorts? Of course I have, like all of us do, in some form or the other. Luckily for me, I haven't let it make a big difference or change my life in any way. I think prejudgement only affects one personally as much one lets it. The Tom Hanks case in Philadelphia was an offence because it had legal overtones and a larger social cause in gay rights.

I will take the specific instance of religion in my case since Islam is a subject of much debate and cause for suspicion in today's world.

"Oooh... you don't seem Muslim?" is the one I hear most often. Now, I don't dress in a particular way nor believe in the frills and rituals of religion so it doesn't bother me as much but it does rankle.

Tomorrow, if I wore a veil and practised Islam actively, would that make me any less or more socially acceptable? Again, I am not in accusation mode, just putting forth a point of view and thinking aloud if I may. We are all aware there are good eggs and bad eggs in this society.

I have always had an independent view of religion. I find believing in humanity easier. There is a superpower somewhere, within and outside of us in spirit. Places of worship, structure, form or practice are incidental. Love, respect and compassion rise above these mundane details for me.

While my parents might have missed out on shaping some aspects of my personality, I give them full credit for not bringing me up to disrespect, choose people or make any decision in my life based on religion. It has never, ever figured in my list of things to tick.

I am not just saying this. In my better years of education and working life in various parts of India, I have never felt short-changed because of my religion. I had the opportunity and liberty to explore all that I wanted. There were good days and bad ones but none had religion written over them.

To conclude, 1993 was also the year in which we had the Mumbai Hindu-Muslim riots. I was in college then and we lived in a cosmopolitan area. This was the year I first became "aware" of the religion I belonged to, despite my best efforts. All my friends, Muslim and Hindu alike, aired caution and concern for me and my family. Compassion ruled over religion.

My best girl friend at the time belonged to a conservative Hindu family and we practically lived in each other's homes. Her parents and brothers bravely offered my family their house and protection at the time though we chose to stay where we were.

Now, the whole city was under curfew for a week. The same friend was madly in love with a Muslim guy. All the lovebirds cared for every evening was when curfew would lift so they could "meet" for a stroll around the local park. Sweet.

So you see, the romantic idealist in me does want the happy ending as far as prejudice goes. But the practical snake rears its head and strikes me out flat.

Something within me tells me prejudice is one battle all of us will have to endure, whether we choose to or not.

Sydney vs Mumbai... Space on the waterfront

Space, literally and figuratively speaking, is a much battered word in today's times. It increasingly characterises cosmopolitan cities like Mumbai and Sydney.

Mumbai, where I come from, was impossibly open spaced. It didn’t have boundaries, it was open, binding and enmeshed. A synergy ran deep within the rapid pace and growth of the city. Culturally, it was solid and retained its original flavour despite the suburbia invasion, embracing people from all walks and (Indian) states alike. Curious and welcoming in the same breath. Cosmopolitan, entertaining to the last designer boot, life ticked constantly and one could tune in any second, minute or hour of the day, no questions asked.

Sydney, on the other hand, is somewhat close spaced. There is an unspoken boundary, a certain line that cannot be crossed, bordering on aloofness despite the mixed population. Beneath brash and liberal tolerance, lies an isolated heart I suspect due to mass migration. The pot pourri of various cultures filtered into Sydney, recreating different countries to get a sense of belonging. The solid heritage architecture and magical waterfront maintained ground while millions sought homes of their own, away from their own homes.

After Mumbai's distinctive spirit in diversity, Sydney's myriad contrasts were rather startling; detached yet connected, friendly yet aloof, sordid yet pleasant, soothing yet harsh, ugly yet stunning, vast yet restricted.

One look at the incredibly blue skies though... and all negatives erase. The seductive blend of water and land is intoxicating. The waterfront, the harbour, the beaches, the trees, parks... nature sucks you right in.

There is no escaping the landscaped splendour of Sydney. Therein, lies its spirit.

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Sydney Diary... Vocab, winter coats and travels

"How are you going?" someone asked me my first week at work. I wondered why: "Umm, I will be getting the bus back home."

"No, no, I mean, how are you doing...?"

"Err, oh ok, well, I am fine, thank you!" I mumbled.

That was my first lesson out of the Aussie vocabulary book. There were others.

When someone says: "Sorry," you say: "You are alright", "You right" or "Awwright".

Though I still can't get myself to ask, "How are you going?", I have adopted some of the words. My personal favourites, perhaps British-born knackered (meaning exhausted) and whinge (meaning complain), I attribute to my convent school education.

Then there was my piquant accent. 'P' and 'W' were always heard as 'B' and 'V', my surname being Parkar, I heavily relied on 'P' for Paris to see me through those customer service calls.

Of course, I am complimented many times over my impeccable English and I do make it a point to dispel those myths: India has as many good and excellent English teaching schools.

Four months on, even as I warmed up to the Aussie words, the cold weather hit me black and blue. All those romantic notions about winter coats and long leather boots crashed when the chill set in. Once I got acclimated, it was lovely to walk around and discover the city. The winter gear soon regained its lost glory.

Little streets, cafes, restaurants, walkways, beaches, parks, museums, libraries, bridges and tourist spots, much to see. Work was very close to Sydney Harbour Bridge, a great boon. Meaning easy access to The Rocks, Circular Quay, Opera House, King Street Wharf and Darling Harbour.

My first acquaintance and now dear friend, Kate, had benevolently driven me around some distant places like Mosman, Taronga Zoo and some lush green portions of North Sydney already. I met her in my second week in Sydney for an interview. Though the job did not work out, we kept in touch. A renowned media personality, she is great fun and company, well-read and well-travelled.

I find this truly remarkable quality with most Aussies, renowned or local, they are chilled out and very chatty. There is never a dull conversation or moment, weather, books, movies, politics, beer, wine, food... a topic is always out there. Expectedly, Indian food and Bollywood theme parties are popular.

There is even a Bombay-Delhi kind of rivarly going on with Melbourne. Not to forget the East-West divide. The war is openly declared on the footy ground, the favourite Aussie game. PS: I loyally marched to an AFL match at Sydney Olympic Park and supported Sydney Swans. PPSssst: A scene from Dil Chahta Hai was shot at the Olympic Park station, another reason to go.

Then there were those buzzing festivals: Sydney Writers, French Film, Sydney Film and the colourful Mardi Gras, which was a night out with my diverse hostel crowd. For all its guts, glory and grandeur, the Mardi Gras parade is definitely worth a watch.

The defining NRI moment happened when Asha Bhosle was in town for a concert performing with an American band Kronos Quartet and I bought a $90 ticket to attend it. Ok, so the venue was the Opera House but still...

Finally, the night life in Sydney is as happening as any other city in the world. There's the good and the other. Booze, bash and the hardcore stuff, the quintessential underbelly very much exists.

Underbelly, now that's another much-used Aussie word...

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Sydney... Love at first flight

I landed in Sydney for the first time on Monday, January 15, 2007. Now this may sound weird but "we" connected instantly from Day 1. Sydney had this amazing positive vibe going for me. The airport terminal felt familiar, I bought a phone card and walked out towards the cab stop like it was a routine.

One week in, armed with 2 job interviews and the Sydney map book, I scouted through the city looking for a job. Two weeks in, I moved into a hostel from my uncle's home so I could be closer to the city and on my own. The picture above was taken from an overbridge on Victoria Road close to Sydney city.

The hostel was my first chapter view of Sydney: picturisque, cosmopolitan, friendly and buzzing yet aloof, mysterious and secretive. Arrivals and departures were constant. It had a good bunch of people from across the world: two Spanish journalists on an assignment, 1 Korean and two Italians learning English, Canadian, German, Indian and Mauritian studying. Some locals, too. An Australian guy had a room in the hostel for 8 years and was protective of his rice cooker, called it his 'wife'. Then, this mysterious French guy who wore a mysterious black hat to hide his face, spoke to no-one; we called him the French murder mystery.

A month in, I had four interviews but no job. Thankfully, cinemas in Sydney had some cheap deals and I spent my days watching movies. But the $1900 cash I had arrived with was fast dwindling despite my otherwise frugal existence. Just when I thought I was watching my last movie before the flight back home, I got lucky. A phone call dragged me out of the ending of 'Little Children'; I had landed a temporary role in my area of work, this time without any interview, one of the interviewers had called back with another opportunity. I had to join in 3 days! The adventure was over...

It was time to find a house two months on, I was missing my own space. I zeroed in on 3 places, viewed two and chose one. My new flatmate had a fully furnished home, I just had move in with my suitcases, the perfect place to be in.

I was home.

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Welcome aboard... Bombay to Sydney

I decided to move from Bombay to Sydney on a hunch.

4 reasons why I picked Sydney:

• I loved the sound of it: S Y D N E Y
• It kind of rhymed with Bombay
• The shops were open until 6 pm most days and Thursdays, 9 pm!
• This was the only place I could get a job in my own field

Yes, this bags the honour of being among the top 5 crazy things I have done in my life. If I didn't get the job, the other three reasons would have deposited me right back to B O M B A Y.

It was a pretty, clear day as the flight descended into Sydney. I had spent the 11-hour (or was it 12) journey in a blur, having said my goodbyes to family and friends, flying into unfamiliar air territory. Reading 'Persepolis' is the only part I remember.

As I looked out the window, I saw the most beautiful lush green landscape ever, and as the flight turned horizontal, the stunning ocean blue of the water.

It was love at first sight. That one moment was reassuring, and somehow I knew then that I was going to make it.

Sydney was the right choice.

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